Sunday Brunch at Pequeña

In Brooklyn, weekend brunch options are in no short supply. Being a poor and hungry man, one must choose carefully when deciding to brunch out. What's worth the long wait, and the teeny bit of coin in my pocket? Where will I receive a most memorable meal, made with love and good vibes, in an atmosphere I could float around in all day? Pequeña - for brunch, lunch, or dinner - is always up there in the top of the list for me. This tiny nook in the heart of Fort Greene is an old friend. Consistent, delicious, fresh, and good vibey. Tops.


I started things off with a café con leche. So simple and so nice. Heaps of frothy milk in a rich and smooth espresso base. Truly delicious and soul-soothing.

Amey ordered the coconut margarita special. I sampled this, and it was fantastic. Pequeña knows how to make a margarita. Their straight margs are some of my favorite in the whole city. More on that in another post.

Pequeña offers a few signature brunch dishes that are made in a cast iron pan, and served up in this nice ceramic boat. This one is my jam. Totally simple concept, executed marvelously. A hefty portion of golden plantains serve as the base of this dish, cooked to perfection. Refried frijoles negros top the plantains, with two fried eggs sealing the deal. Garnish with freshly diced tomatoes and cilantro, serve some warm corn tortillas on the side, and there you have it. A serious boat of awesome.

This brunch made me a very happy dude. The balance of the sweet plantains, the savory eggs and black beans, and the zesty cilantro was muy delicioso.

Pequeña. It's pure 100% Awesomegeddon.

Hot Dog Porn

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Dogmatic.

The concept is simple. Take a fresh baguette, drive a hot metal stake up the center of said baguette to lightly toast the inside and to make some room for El Dog. Coat the inside of the baguette with oozing mint yogurt sauce, or how about horseradish mustard? Even truffle gruyere or cheddar jalapeno sauce could work! Then insert a piping hot, freshly crafted sausage. Lamb, turkey, beef, pork, chicken - pick any wiener you like!

There she is. Deeeelicious.

This Union Square lunch spot had humble beginnings as a street cart in the West Village. As popularity grew over the past couple of years, they blossomed into a legitimate sausage-ramming destination. Nearly everything at Dogmatic is locally sourced. The baguettes hail from a small Queens bakery. The sausages come from organic and grass-fed animals on small local farms. And it's TOTALLY DELICIOUS.

Make it a full-on meal with a signature side and a homemade soda. I grabbed the lamb sausage with mint yogurt sauce as my main squeeze, hand cut coleslaw as a side, and a homemade ginger soda for drinking. Score.

See Dogmatic in the New York Times.

What's that? It's summertime?

YES.

Everybody Loves Ramen

Nobody is above eating instant noodles.

I don't care who you are. I bet Elton John eats instant noodles while sat behind his hideous white piano, taking a break from writing songs for royal funerals.

If there does turn out to be life on other planets somewhere in the universe, it's a safe bet that they eat instant noodles when they first move away from home to go to parallel-university or wherever it is they go when it's time to learn to cook for themselves.



I think my basic point boils down to: don't snub instant noodles. At some point in your life, they were there for you when you needed them, and they haven't forgotten you.

We at DINNERGEDDON understand this all too well, and so we thought the time had come to do a special post all about Momofuku Ando's marvellous invention that took the world by storm.... THE INSTANT RAMEN NOODLE.



Sadly, Momofuku-San passed away in 2007 at the grand age of 96, so to honour the great man, we conducted a taste-test to find out once and for all which Ramen rules the roost.

Picking up three different brand's version of the classic "Beef" flavour, we examined them one by one.




NUMBER ONE: SAU TAO HO FAN BEEF SOUP (Made by SUN SHUN FUK FOODS)

Yes, it is made by Sun Shun Fuk Foods. Amazing, we know. But there is even more, less obvious joy to be found on this packaging. Really tiny, on the left hand side, the text reads "Non Fried", and then the simple reminder that "Health is important".

That was thoughtful of them.

These noodles turned out to be of the longer, thinner, Vermicelli variety, which already set them apart from the regular batchelor chow experience.



We dropped the exotic block into the water and counted the seconds ticking away as our food magically transformed before our eyes from a dry husk to a steaming hot heap of om-nom.

Behold, Sun Shun Fuk's finest:



Using the power of quantum mechanics, we devised the following score for this beefy-delight.

Aroma = 7/10
Appearance = 5/10
Taste = 6/10

TOTAL SCORE = 18/30

Not a barn-stormer then, I'm sure you'll agree. They smelled wonderful, but let themselves down in the appearance stakes for being more grey than a healthy-meaty brown, and the flavour, while delicious, didn't really taste of anything in particular; just a general savouriness.

Moving relentlessly on in our soy-tinted mission, we arrived at:



NUMBER TWO: SAPPORO ICHIBAN JAPANESE STYLE NOODLES AND BEEF FLAVOURED-SOUP (Made by SANYO FOODS)

Apparently this product is the result of a meeting of minds between the Ichiban Beer people, and Sanyo Stereos. I can see the logic. "We get people drunk, provide them with tunes...they need some badass food to munch down upon in a hurry while they're rocking out!"

And so these Beef Soup Noodles were born.



Aroma = 6/10
Appearance = 5/10
Taste = 6/10

TOTAL SCORE = 17/30

Uh-oh. Things aren't looking too good are they? At this point, we began to worry that we needed to revise our scoring method. We don't want you to get the impression we don't like Ramen. We only want to be strict and stick to our guns in finding the most perfect product to honour the late Momofuku-San.

We had to be steadfast and true, like all hungry scientists. The time had come to act. We had arrived at our final contender...



NUMBER THREE: DEMAE RAMEN JAPANESE NOODLESOUP (Made by NISSIN FOODS)

These noodles have two things going for them that the others don't. Firstly, check out this little dude on the packet!



I want to be friends with him.

Also, included along with the usual seasoning powder is this special sachet of flavour boosting oil.



This makes a big difference, really. Somehow, the addition of this little splash of oil elevates the dish from being "fast-food" to tasting almost "home made".



You can just see the glitter-effect of the oil at the edge of the bowl.

Aroma = 10/10
Appearance = 5/10
Taste = 7/10

TOTAL SCORE = 22/30

NISSIN FTW!!!



The smell of these just does something to you. It gets in your head and converts all the different pieces of your brain into noodle-obsessed beef-machines.

I would gladly serve this up to anybody, no matter who they are or how ritzy they hang.



So there you have it. Nissin beef noodles are the best Ramen we can find.

As a happy coincidence, since conducting this experiment we have found out that Momofuku Ando actually founded the Nissin company, so our winning noodles have the official inventor's seal of approval on them!

Quality speaks for itself. These Ramen are here to stay.

RECIPE: Empanadas

I popped up to East London to visit my friend Nico. He showed me how to make some delicious Empanadas, Colombian style! Here's the recipe:



INGREDIENTS*
500g Pork mince
500g Potatoes
1 pepper
Spring onions
3-4 Tomatoes
500g Plain flour

*Open your fridge! Chances are, you already have tons of ingredients that would make a suitable empanada, so the above is just a guideline. What I love about this recipe is that it is simple, can definitely be made on the cheap, and can pretty much be done with whatever foodstuffs you have to hand. Awesome for using up leftovers...

METHOD
For the filling
Prepare the veg, finely chop the pepper, tomatoes and spring onions. Peel the potatoes and cut them into quarters, or whatever fraction takes your fancy.



Set the potatoes boiling, then dump the rest of the veg in a large frying pan on a low to medium heat. You wanna slowly fry them, keeping the juice from the tomatoes running free. After 10 minutes or so, chuck in the mince and continue to fry until brown. I would throw in some chili flakes, or even better some actual jalapenos, maybe some bayleaves, however you're feeling, don't be afraid.

Hey! Those taters should be pretty much boiled by now, so drain em and crumble them up in with the mince and veg. This is probably looking pretty damned edible right now, but hold off! We're gonna make some simple pastry cases, so as to facilitate the transference of delicious meat and vegetable filling to your face. Let's let this mess cool off while we make some pastry.

For the pastry
Technically, this is supposed to be made with cornmeal, BUT since this is all but impossible to find where I live, we're gonna keep it simple*. Put the flour into a mixing bowl with a level teaspoon of salt, and slowly add about 1/2 litre of water to the flour, kneading and mixing thoroughly as you go (make sure to keep your hands plenty floury). After 4 or 5 minutes you should have a nice ball of dough. We're ready to create!



[*If you want to authenticize this up a bit, try and find some panela (you will pretty much definitely need a Colombian market for this)]. You can shave off a bit of this, totally like a truffle, to give the pastry an extra kick.



Break off a doughball approximately the size of a clementine, then on a well-floured surface, knead or roll into a circle as thin as possible, whilst still being able to pick it up and generally move it around. Grab a healthy dollop of filling and whack it in the centre of the pastry, then fold the pastry into a semi-circle and seal with a bowl. At this point, put some vegetable oil on a medium heat (be hell of careful not to burn down your house! Empanadas do not need to be cooked massively quickly).



Seal the empanada with a bowl, and you should get something like the below:



Continue rolling and folding your empanadas, once you've done about four, the oil should be hot enough (drop some breadcrumbs in, if they sizzle and bubble, you're good to go). Carefully drop a couple of empanadas in, and fry for 4-6 minutes, turning occasionally. They should be golden brown and firm to the touch. Place on a plate with some paper to soak up any excess grease.



They will stay quite hot for a while, so no need to rush. Empanadas will keep for a coupe of days in the fridge, great for taking to work and heating up in the microwave, although maybe think twice if you're putting chicken in yours... I'll be knocking these up again for sure, and looking forward to trying them with cornmeal as intended.

Ok, chao, hasta luego.

THANKS, NICO, FOR THE RECIPE, IT WAS FUN COOKING WITH YOU!



P.S. We totally listened to Gyspy Kings and drank serious vino tinto while we made these. Recommended...

Full of pep (pips).

JUST LOOK AT ALL THESE PIPS!

Is this a record? I think it must be. Mutants for lunch - YUM!

Breakfast of Champions

Grape Nuts.

They're not grapes. They're not nuts.

What are they?

Friggin' DELICIOUS. That's what they are.

When I was a kid, this stuff was like gold dust in my house. I think the understanding was that it wasn't for me/my brother/kids in general, it being considered a 'grown up' cereal for the following reasons:

A) they were kind of pricey;

B) there wasn't a harebrained, gurning mascot leering at you from the front of the box;

C) the goodness within only had one colour, and;

D) my dad wanted them all to himself (I have no beef, Dad, I understand now.)

Naturally, if any opportunity arose, I defied any warnings to stick to my Coco Pops and went straight for these hardy little nuggets. Their intense crunch was such that I feared for my scarcely-developed molars and, when they were available, they became as much a joyous staple of my childhood as Saturday morning cartoons, Tetris eyestrain and spotting white dog eggs on the street.

Fast forward a bunch of years later. I had flown the nest and, no longer bound by parental breakfast food purchasing choices, was feeling truly PSYCHED about buying my very own box of Grape Nuts for the first time. Then, something went wrong. I don't know if I was just shopping in the wrong places, but they seemed to disappear from supermarket shelves. I never found out why, but I just about managed to muster enough composure to chin up and get on with my life.

Fast forward again to NOW. Grape Nuts are back in full force (whether or not they ever really went away remains a mystery) and, YES, I'm eating them. LOOK:

This might look to anyone unfamiliar with the cereal that I’m pouring myself a hearty bowl of cat litter. This is certainly not the case - I can assure you that Captain Meow’s Poopytime Smile Grit does NOT stay crunchy in milk and is therefore unsuitable for an early morning chow-down.

Back in the day, I would liberally coat my breakfast with sugar. Not so now - being a little older and wiser, I settle for some chopped banana. Everyone knows fruit on cereal is a good idea, but I'll be damned if this doesn't go further than just a good match; soft, sweet 'nana is the perfect sidekick for a big bowl o' Grapey kapow.

Like any cereal whose best asset is texture, they're best enjoyed hurled into your face as soon as you've stopped pouring the milk, but that's certainly not to say that they go soggy quickly (in all honesty though I've never taken enough time over a bowl to find out if that's really true or not).

The taste is somewhat hard to describe - the best I can do is 'a wheaty, slightly malty crunch'. Imagine you're some kind of celestial deity munching on thousands of tiny wheat-meteors and you're halfway there. But, I'm not here to convince you to go and buy some. In fact, the less you eat the better - all the more for me.

Dessert for Lunch

Dessert is a pretty weird concept in general, I think.

I like it, don't get me wrong. I will snarf down a cheesecake along with the best of them. But it seems to me that the very concept of dessert is just a remnant of childhood bribery. It begins as a way to get kids to eat their vegetables, a shiny, sugary beacon at the top of a mountain of broccoli; and from there it evolves into an all-purpose threat for general misbehaviour ("No dessert for you!"). This is the dining equivalent of global nuclear armament.



As an adult, this idea loses a large amount of it's relevence. A five-year-old loves ice-cream more than it loves Spicy Cous-Cous for three reasons:

a) Because five-year-olds have no education.
b) Children are scared of things that are new, and most desserts are generally pretty samey, therefor familiar.
c) Purely because the dessert is dangled as an inaccessible reward. With the proper conditioning, the same effect could probably be achieved with toothpaste.

[Note: I am a childless curmudgeon. These theories are untested.]



The point is, now that we are grown-ups, we are in control of our own dessert intake. I get to make the choice. That's kind of a powerful idea. As an adult, I have financial concerns, and if I'm eating in a restuarant the choice is often between an extra bottle of wine or pudding. I will let you guess which wins, and draw your own assumptions about me based upon that.

So, although as I have said, I like dessert, I don't often manage to get too pumped up about it. Especially as by the time it usually rolls around, I'm not hungry anymore.

But picture this:



It's lunchtime. You really are hungry. You can eat the above, or make an executive adult decision and go for this:



Not every day mind, but once in a blue moon, dessert for lunch really works. It's a flashy visual display with no nutrional value, but it feels pretty kinky right? In a good way.
It's eating outside of the box yo.

Your hunger will be satisfied, you will have asserted your dominance within the social set, and your soul will remain well-fed until dinner.

I'm a bad man.

Focaccia (Comin' Atcha)

I'm a guy who likes bread. I like to think that this is something I have in common with the vast majority of the human race.

One day, several moons ago, I pondered how to bake something a little more flavoursome than a standard white loaf. I found myself thinking: 'Can I, with no prior experience, make a half-decent focaccia?!'.

A couple of hours and a bit of experimentation later, I proudly answered my own question thus: 'YES - OR SOME SEMBLANCE THEREOF!'.

I've recreated said experiment a number of times since and found it to turn out pretty consistently. This time I decided to document the process.

So, I make no claims about this being any kind of authentic Italian recipe, it’s just something I cobbled together out of curiosity that kind of worked. Anyway, none of my friends have punched me while tasting it, so I must be on the right track.

I tend to avoid proper measurements wherever possible (keeps things more interesting, you know?), so follow your instincts or just do whatever the hell you like.

--
You will need:

600g strong white bread flour
1 sachet dried yeast
Tepid mixture of water, olive oil and clear honey (about 250ml water topped up to 300ml with the oil and honey)
1 fuckton of pitted black olives, halved lengthways
3 or 4 large cloves of garlic, roughly chopped and roasted until slightly soft
Hell of fresh rosemary
Coarse salt
--

First of all, put the water/oil/honey on a gentle heat until it’s just starting to get warm, give it a quick stir, then set it aside in a jug with a small plate or something on top so it hasn’t cooled completely by the time you come to use it.

Tip the flour into a large mixing bowl and add two or three large chunks of butter/olive spread/whatever you're using. Work the fat into the flour until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs.

Add the dried yeast, a pinch or two of salt, all of the garlic and most, but not all, of the olives and rosemary – you’ll need some of each to put on the outside of the bread later. Mix it all up.

Give the tepid liquid another stir and slowly begin to pour it into the bowl, starting with about half. Mix it up with the flour et al, pour a little more, mix it again…

Keep going in this way until you have something that looks like dough (you may not need to use all of the water/oil/honey mix) - it should be sliiiightly sticky to the touch, but not wet. Fear not; you can always add some more flour if you’ve gotten a bit overzealous with the liquid.

Now, anyone who's ever made bread knows that the most fun part of doing so (aside from the eating, of course) is the kneading. Here is a fantastic opportunity to take out all your worldly frustrations on a hapless lump of edible putty - it can be a great release, like playing the drums, or picking on someone weaker than you.

After roughly 10 minutes' anger management, you should end up with dough that is springy and will stretch reasonably far without falling apart.

Now you need to grease the mixing bowl and put the dough back in. Cover it with a tea towel and leave it in a warm place (an airing cupboard, for example, or the fond heart of a beloved elderly relative). After 40 minutes or so it should have roughly doubled in size.

Line a baking sheet with some foil and grease it up something chronic. Then put it upside down on top of the bowl and flip it over, like so:

Using your spotlessly clean and sterilised fingers, make little indentations evenly over the flat dough, then put the remaining olive halves inside them. Scatter the leftover rosemary and a pinch or two of coarse salt over the top, then drizzle* the whole thing with a little olive oil.

*I use the word ‘drizzle’ as a verb only with the utmost reluctance and because my brain is offering no viable alternatives.

Whaddya know?! It's ready to go into to your preheated oven - 180°c/350°f/gas mark 4 - for about half an hour, or until it's evenly golden across the crust.

Leave it to cool for at least an hour, otherwise it's likely to be somewhat gooey inside when you cut into it. But, you know, maybe that's your thing...

...and there you have it!

(Thanks to Britner for help with some of the photos and for providing “locally sourced” rosemary)