Food Tattoos

Inspired by this post on our DINNERGEDDON friend Tom's awesome cartoon blog, LIFE ON GOON ISLAND, here is a rundown of some of my favourites of the many food-themed tattoos that are floating around on google-images...

1) THE SIMPLE DEDICATION

I have considered this more than once in my life. The only thing that stops me is the fear that somebody will add the word "Kevin" to it when I'm not looking.

2)THE STYLISH YET EDUCATIONAL

I love how concerned the pig looks. He knows what's up.

3) THE COMPLEX BACKSTORY

There is obviously some deeper significance to this raw steak and the deceased...or possibly it's just because their name is Cleaver?

4)THE EXCELLENT PENMANSHIP

Finally! A bit of veg to go with all that meat! Look at the shading on the leaves!

5)THE BALANCED DIET

I'm not too sure what's going on here but it totally makes me hungry in a way that doesn't normally happen when I see a dude's leg.

And, to finish things off...

6) THE GRAND PRIZE

Notice the fairy wings on the ham.
I think we can all agree this is a decision she definitely won't regret.
EVER.

Brunch at Casa Mono

--NEW YORK --

It's Mark here, reporting from the Big Apple.

My cousin Jackie first turned me on to proper Spanish cuisine when I moved to New York some years back. Jackie lived in Spain for a good chunk of time, and it was there that she dove head first into the world of Flamenco, made some lifelong pals, and no doubt ate some seriously unforgettable food. Since my wife and I moved to New York, Jackie has shown us the way to some excellent Spanish eateries to be found around town. Some spots were fancy and modern, others simple and unassuming, some fiercely traditional, while others presented a modern fusion. We became instant fans. Top that off with a honeymoon visit to Barcelona last year, and our love of Spanish food has skyrocketed to epic levels.

This is Casa Mono. Once in a blue moon, I'll meet Jackie at this cozy spot. Usually we'll go for dinner, but on this particular occasion Jackie and I shared a nice Sunday Cousin Brunch. I'd say it's a modern and perhaps more avante garde take on classic Spanish favorites. The food is really damn good, and consistently so. Why is it so tasty? Because Mario Batali owns this place. That's why. Before anything is ordered, you get this perfect staple. Sliced baguette paired with Spanish olives and a pool of olive oil for dipping. You can tell by the deep green color that this ain't no po man's olive oil. Yes, this is the good stuff. Hide it from the kids. After being turned on to this simple concept, I often ask for olive oil with the free bread at restaurants instead of butter. It's just the way to go.

Best cappuccino. It rivals many that I enjoyed in Barcelona. The waitress told us that the espresso is imported from Spain, which might start to explain why it's so good. But it was really really good. I had two.

We start with the Ensalada Mono with manchego cheese. So fresh and crisp. The manchego makes an ideal compliment to the greens. It was great, and it paired well with...

... the Pumpkin and Goat Cheese Croquetas. Imagine tasting a savory (but just barely sweet) pumpkin pie, paired with goat cheese, rolled into little balls, and fried. These ping pong ball-sized morsels pack a lot of punch. I can almost taste them as I type this. Oh man.

This is the part of this meal where I just die and go to tapas heaven. I am a *huge* fan of the Sardine. It is easily, in my humble opinion, the most underrated little fish available. A poor man like myself can purchase countless cans of these fellas, and use them for anything. My sardines end up in sandwiches, stir frys, salads, in tacos, rice dishes, noodle dishes, on crackers, with eggs at breakfast, and even on pizza. This fish is it, I'm telling you. When the Spanish take a Sardine and lightly fry up the entire thing in olive oil, it's even better. I eat the head, the tail, and every bone. These three amigos pictured above were served up with a candied lemon summer salad, and garnished with lemon wedges. There you have it folks, Sardinas Fritas done right.

Duck Egg with Mojama. The final piece to come out, and it's just beautiful. A very large duck egg cooked to perfection sits as a canopy atop a mound of potatoes and sauteed mushroom. Mojama is a Spanish delicacy consisting of tuna loins cured for two days in sea salt, then rinsed and laid out to dry. The end result is almost something between jerky and bacon (except in fish form), and makes a perfect compliment to the savory duck egg. When the egg is pierced with a knife, it oozes lazily down onto the plate like a slow motion volcano, all the subtle flavors mixing along the way.

A perfect brunch.

---------------

Casa Mono

52 Irving Place

New York, NY 10003

Love Will Tear Huss Apart

Ok, so check this out. Fish and chips is totally real. It is not a mythical meal. It is in fact, 100% a thing.

If you're ever in my main stomping ground, sunny Brighton on the southern most coast of the UK, then you're gonna want some fish and chips. You just will. It would be pedantic not to, like going to Eurodisney and not experiencing a crushing sense of ennui.

But here comes the boldest claim: if you get your fish/chip combo from any joint other than BARDSLEY'S on Baker Street, then you my friend have not sampled real fish and chips.

The menu cover is blurry in this picture, but the sentiment is clear:



Yeah, I know! 1926! That mean looking dude in the granny-glasses was dishing out battered-swimmers back before Winston Churchill ever even decided to be fat.

You don't have to eat in the restaurant, but it's kind of fun to as they are a licensed premises, with wine and beer and everything. Plus, if you're lucky, this table will be free.



Not only is it essentially a converted greenhouse, with a glass roof and weird climbing plant, but it is absolutely covered wall-to-wall with Max Miller memorabilia. The world at large probably doesn't remember Max all that well, but in his 1940's heyday he was known referred to as "The Pure Gold Of The Music Hall" for his way old fashioned saucy gags and double-entendre filled songs.

Here's a sample of Max's style:



Somebody's gonna get spanked!

They actually have one of Max's suits in a glass case right there in the restaurant. Isn't this a strange thing to be looking at while you eat?



I'm glad that Bardsley's are keeping his memory alive. It may seem a little out of place at first, but Max Miller was such a big part of the whole wartime, seaside, "Brighton Rock", picture-postcard vibe that gave Brighton it's dark/colourful playground reputation; he goes along with fish and chips just as much as salt and vinegar.

I don't want to be overselling the point, but they even built a statue of him in the town centre!



A classic Max Miller gag went something along the lines of:

I was waiting for the tram, and a young lady comes along, so I offer her my seat.
"Thanks very much" she says, "I'm pregnant, you know."
"Oh well congratulations," I said. "How long have you been pregnant?"
"Only ten minutes so far, but doesn't it make you tired?"

Saucy stuff. Not to say that Bardsley's itself can't be classy...



I got huss, chips, and a side of mushy peas. I will be honest, this place is not the cheapest by any means, but if you can afford it, it is totally worth it. Just look at this "small" portion (excuse the bad picture):



That is huge! Huss is a criminally under-represented fish. Meaty, flavoursome, and only one bone in the thing. Also the bone is very easy to remove because it is the size and shape of a human spinal cord.



Once you get that out, it's easy eating the whole rest of the way. The batter is light, crisp, and not at all greasy. It's actually got kind of a tempura-esque quality to it. The chips are thick, well cut, and everything you'd want a chip to be.

Special mention does need to be made of the mushy peas.



I know, I know. They are ugly right? But I cannot urge you enough, no matter how cautious of them you are, please do get these mushed-up peas as a side to your fish. If you do, you will not need any other sauce. Their earthy, salty, slightly sweet flavour really does hold everything together in the most wonderful way.



It's just all over too quickly... But I'll definitely be going back soon for another excellent meal to inspire in me a rare moment of civic pride.

...with a little help from our boy Max.

SCOOP's Upside Your Head

**LONDON**

I really enjoyed this post from Anti-mega on Soho's 'Gelato Triangle', and as this summer seems to be sticking around, I've found many opportunities to indulge. I wonder how well they'll cope in a normal London perennial winter, but still... A good opportunity to compare the ices in the big smoke with Boho Gelato's slightly Blumenthal-ish flavour mechanics.

We took in Gelupo first and something in this place just feels a bit off. Archer Street is ritzy on one side (The side with Bocca Di Lupo) and seedy on the other (The back of the Apollo Theatre and a sex shop), and Gelupo is situated on the seedy side. A distinct lack of any solid or simple flavours, there are instead overly picky options such as Pine Nut with Fennel Seed. Having said that, the flavours do change, so maybe we just picked the wrong day.

But this post is to recommend Scoop, which, although it does have an air of poshness about it, is definitely more relaxed and welcoming than Gelupo.



SCOOP
40 Short's Gardens
WC2H 9AB
scoopgelato.com

In all honesty, we just stumbled upon Scoop because it had the biggest crowd outside, out of anywhere in the street, although, since this is an ice-cream parlour with limited seatin, that's not a huge surprise.
The first thing I saw were the CONES. Gelupo doesn't have swish chocolate-dipped cones, but once I had sampled one at Boho Gelato in Brighton, there was really no going back. Scoop's cones also add nuts which obviously gives a pleasant crunch to go along with the sweetness of the chocolate and the wafer.



A big part of any gelato place is the display, and you can see from the picture below, the gelato is sitting in these weird waves, almost unnatural looking, but hell of inviting. Gelato on the right and sorbet on the left. You can see that a lot of the trays are almost empty, which makes sense as the place was absolutely rammer-jammer with folks.





The scoops are pretty small, which means that the value for money isn't exactly exceptional. Its about right for Soho though. I opted for the large chocolate and nut cone, with 4 flavours. £4.50. You're probably not going to want to pay this unless you're A. - Rich, or B. - have had some drinks. I went ahead and checked option B.



Apologies for the blurry pics but it was dark. This wasn't massively gelato-y, in that it made me think more of ice-cream as it wasn't as runny as I expected, but it was insanely delicious. I think if you're going to go with the cone instead of a tub, it has to be a good one. These ones are good. That is all.

OH WAIT. Bonus point for the giant tub of Nutella next to the waffle section!

Of Slice and Men

A takeaway pizza tour of Brighton


Until fairly recently, due to shameful laziness and a cynical assumption that the big name takeaway chains peddling their stodgy slabs of preservative-packed excuses for food had run anyone making honest, authentic, hand-delivered pies out of town, I’d been living in a horrific nightmare of belief that it just wasn’t possible to get a quality pizza wheeled to your door in Brighton. How very wrong I turned out to be...

Moving into a new neighbourhood about a year ago, I began to hear word of a local and independent delivery-only pizzeria that made food so good that people still talked about its wares weeks after eating there. The name of that takeaway was (and still is) LA CUCINA. Naturally, I got curious, and after a couple of weeks in my new surroundings, my expectations of takeaway pizza had shot through the roof. Having been mercifully lifted from my fug of delivery-based apathy, it seemed only natural to seek out what else was available in the locale to someone with a raging hunger for a superior slice.

Joined by Brighton’s own vegetarian pizza guru, Ash, I became determined to seek out the best Brighton & Hove had to offer. First, the ground rules:

1. Believing the old maxim ‘one can have too much of a good thing’ to be completely valid, we decided on a limit of one pizza per week.

2. Also adhering firmly the twin concepts of inconsistency and hypocrisy, we completely disregarded the first rule in deciding each to order our own all-time favourite topping from every joint along the way. FAVOURITES: Me - the classic Napoletana/Napoli (depending on who you ask) - anchovies, olives, capers. Ash: Funghi with extra onion.

3. In the unlikely event of suddenly discovering midway through the adventure that one or the other of us was lactose intolerant, the guy left standing would inform the fallen’s next of kin.

Souls rumbling and napkins tucked in, off we went.

First stop...

Oregano
19 Old Steine
Brighton BN1 1EL
T: (01273) 677 377
Menu: http://www.brightontasty.com/menus/oregano.pdf

The first thing that strikes you about this place, apart from the alarmingly H.U.G.E sizes available (their ‘Super’ weighs in at a monstrous 16”!!) is the extensive and - it has to be said - occasionally bizarre menu. Case in point: they have a pizza called ‘Deny Duck’ that boasts not only duck, but... wait for it... duck with brown sauce. Yes. I’m more intrigued by the name than the toppings, though... Had this duck simply been denied its right to exist in a normal habitat away from pizza and a condiment most commonly associated with bacon sandwiches? Was it a freak typo? Or, just maybe, was I paying way too much attention? Anyway, this was no time for being adventurous, let alone pedantic; we’d already made a pact to stick to our favourites and sure as hell weren’t going to break it on our first order (except that I kind of had to as they were sans capers - more on that in a bit). Onwards...

Reading the words ‘traditional wood fired oven’ was definitely enough to get us into something of a tizz. The call was made. The wait commenced. The food ARRIVED:





Just look at them. They clearly weren’t kidding about the traditional wood fired oven - a slightly charred crust is definitely a reassuring sign of a pizza full of delicious potential in my book. The base was floury and crisp with a hint of the wood fire we’d heard so much about, and was a bed for some damn fine tomato sauce – fresh tasting and tangy with a fragrant pinch of its creators' herby namesake. Juicy olives, satisfyingly salty anchovies but, as I mentioned earlier, sadly no capers; they didn’t have any available on the night but I can’t say that ruined the experience. The cheese was a good, stringy mozzarella coating the pizza so liberally that it almost bullied the other ingredients into submission, but they were all so tasty that they just about held their own.





Oregano: with your pizza bursting with flavoursome toppings, your square slicing and your mouth-wateringly charred bases, I will be calling on you again.

The verdict from Ash:




Now, on to the the reason we're here...

La Cucina
4a Montpelier Place
Brighton BN1 3BF
T: (01273) 202 206
Menu: http://www.lacucinabrighton.co.uk/pizza.htm





Although I’d ordered from this place before, this was the first time I’d tried their Napoletana, and it DEFINITELY didn’t disappoint; the anchovies seemed of much better quality than those you’d usually expect from a takeaway pizza – they actually tasted like they came from the SEA and not from a tin, which is something of a rarity in my experience. If it weren’t for the fact they’d just spent a while getting cosy in a scorching oven amongst a plain of molten cheese, I would’ve been convinced they were still swimming. Exceptionally well-seasoned tomato sauce was perfectly balanced with tart capers, smoky black olives and some top drawer mozzarella. A classic thin base with a “biscuitty” crust ("biscuitty" © Ash 2010) held everything together nicely.



A special mention here has to go to La Cucina’s famous purple coleslaw – I can’t order anything from here without a helping of this king of the sides. Creamy and naturally sweet but not too heavy, it’s loaded with fresh, crunchy veg and seriously addictive - you’ll praise yourself for parking a mountain of it next to your favourite slice. Another nice touch is that they give you a little pot of fresh rocket to do with as you please. Not being particularly innovative types, we opted to scatter it over our dinner for a peppery garnish, but I’m sure the more creative among you could really break some new ground with this.



The verdict from Ash:




Next up...

Pizzaface
35 Saint Georges Road
Kemptown BN2 1ED
T: (01273) 699 082
Menu: http://www.pizzafacepizza.co.uk/

Apparently the newest kid on the block, Pizzaface sprung up less than a year ago and has been making culinary ripples in Kemptown and beyond ever since. This is definitely the place for you if you have any special dietary requirements – gluten-free, yeast-free and wheat-free bases and even 100% vegan pizzas are all on the menu here, which means pretty much anyone can join the party without fear of allergic, gastric or moral repercussions.

(Unless you don’t like pizza. Then you can take your sparkly conical hat off and sit in the corner. In the dark. Go on.)



Lifting the lid on our bounty, the first word that sprang to mind was ‘minimal’. Not in an Ikea/Apple/turtle neck kind of a way, you understand - and not that good pizza should ever be about size - but we’d been conditioned by our experience so far to expect something more... substantial-looking. Then I cast my mind back to my sole trip to Italy and thought ‘hey, this is just how pizza looked in ROME’. And then I knew everything was going to be OK.





As you can see from the photo above, Ash broke rule no. 2 in deviating from his FAVOURITE and getting a 'Vegetarian' instead, the heathen. I must admit I was tempted to do the same, though - other options on their menu include marinated asapragus, oyster mushrooms and lamb prosciutto, which definitely sound worth a punt. Still, my loyalty to DINNERGEDDON won out and I determinedly stuck to my own dumb rules.

Whereas other sauces we’d tried so far featured oregano fairly prominently, our Pizzaface pies stood out in offering up a nice, clean basil taste; sweet and fragrant, this was where most of the flavour came from. The toppings, although not the most plentiful, were happy to let the basic elements do the talking: the real star here was the floury disc on which it all sat. Simultaneously fresh, springy and crispy, I would have happily discarded the toppings, rolled several of these up into a colossal dough cigar and spent an entire evening gnawing said creation like a drowsy cow mindlessly chewing through several lifetimes of exceptionally tasty base-cud.



The verdict from Ash:




And, finally...

Pronto in Tavola
43 Waterloo Street
Hove BN3 1AY
T: (01273) 771 881
Menu: http://prontointavola.gofreeserve.com/

Oh boyee is this good pizza. The keyword here is undoubtedly ‘FRESH’. Fresh in a way you haven’t known since a juvenile Will Smith and his mate Jeff entertained your adolescence goofing around in Bel Air.





Something to note is that their pies come unsliced. At first, we whined like convenience-spoiled kids at the thought of having to lift a knife and fork, but then realised that ACTUALLY this was much more like how your food would ACTUALLY be served in an ACTUAL Italian restaurant, so we shut the hell up and dug in.



Good, fragrant capers, GOOOOD anchovies and probably the best olives I’ve ever eaten on a pizza – stone in and nicely bitter, they added an extra dimension to the proceedings in a way olives that aren’t usually expected to do. Go olives, you little winners.



If you like pizza, it’s a pretty safe bet that you’re a fan of cheese too, but something I think a lot of pizza-pushers often do unnecessarily is pile the stuff on. Certainly not the case with Pronto in Tavola; a light scattering of mozzarella sat evenly among the toppings and acted more as a complimentary texture than a feature, ensuring every bite was as good as the last.

The verdict from Ash:



NO!!! I mean: