Cooking With Fred Durst

HOT-SMOKED SALMON & PRAWNS WITH PUY LENTIL SALAD

This dinner is delicious and nutrious. It is so easy to make, that even Fred Durst could cook it.



Listen Mr. Durst.
Let's say you, Chester Bennington from Linkin Park, Coby Dick of Papa Roach fame, and revered broadcaster Walter Cronkite are all hanging out swapping tattoo-ideas when you start to get peckish.

YOU CAN FEED YOUR FRIENDS!



Your adventure begins with you gathering together the following items.

Hot-Smoked Salmon Fillet (250g)
Shelled, Cooked Prawns (200g)
Cous Cous (roughly one and a half cups)
Puy Lentils (roughly one cup)
Red Pepper (diced)
1/2 Cucumber (diced)
Green Peas (maybe 150g)
Fresh Parsley (finely chopped)
1 Lemon
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Salt & Pepper

[Serves 4]

1) Boil the lentils for 10-15 minutes. Meanwhile, cover the cous cous with hot water, add salt & pepper to taste, and leave to soak.

While waiting, you might want to perform a rap song for your guests.



2) When the lentils are *almost* done, add the peas for just a few minutes. Drain, run under cold water, and set aside to cool.

During this time, why not seduce a young pop-star?



Or not...

3) The cous cous should now be nice and fluffy. Using a fork, stir through a dash of olive oil, checking seasoning as you go. Add salt if needed. Add the cucumber, peppers, peas and lentils. Stir in freshly chopped parsley and the rind from your lemon.

Now might be a good time to check on your guests, and perhaps amuse them with a high-brow joke.



Ha ha! Good one, Fred!

4) For the dressing, squeeze the lemon juice into a small bowl with roughly the same amount of olive oil. Whisk together with a little black pepper until nice and thick.

It's nearly ready... are you looking sharp?



Snazzy!

5) Portion out the lentil salad into four individual serving bowls. Top with flaked salmon and prawns. Drizzle over the dressing and serve!



Delicious! So good for you, too.
Plus it was a snap to make, meaning that you can get back to doing what you do best.



Just be yourself man!
DON'T EVER CHANGE.

Weapons-Grade Hot Sauce

This is my brother.

Knowing that I'm a part of the ever-curious DINNERGEDDON stable of roving hungry food pioneers, he decided to give me the gift of a new edible experience this Christmas.

"Here you go," he said. "You can blog about it, or not. Whatever."



"Thanks bro!"

The only problem is, as a food-blogger, I'm still not even quite sure that Da' Bomb: Beyond Insanity Hot Sauce even qualifies as 'food' per se.

The label quite clearly states: KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN, CONSUME ONE DROP AT A TIME.

I don't know how common it is for companies to urge you to use less of their product, and that in itself should be a sign...



"I'M NOT SURE I'M TOUGH ENOUGH FOR A SAUCE LIKE THIS."



Oh ok then.

But first, some facts about Da' Bomb...

The relative heat of all chili peppers is measured using the "Scoville" scale. In brief, this is expressed as a number representing how many times a flavour extract of the chili must be diluted in sugar-water before the spice is no longer detectable to the human tongue.

A regular "sweet pepper" has a Scoville rating of zero: not spicy at all.
Tabasco sauce rates around 2,500 Scovilles.
DA BOMB can boast 119,700 Scovilles.

Needless to say...



I made sure to anaethetise myself appropriately.



Next, I poured myself an "emergency spice relief" shot of milk...



Portioning out a (disclaimer defying) two drop fingertip serving, I was ready to embrace the taste. What you see below is actual documentary evidence of Da' Bomb being deployed...



The wierdest thing about Da' Bomb is that the heat and the taste are completely seperate, in a clearly discernable way. The spice is obviously crazy hot, and waaaay more than I can ordinarily handle, but the flavour itself is actually great; really earthy and sweet. This comes through after the burn, clear and satisfying; like watching a beautiful sunrise after a night spent picking open your own surgical stitches.



In short, I may not be able to stomach this kind of heat on a regular basis, and I suppose I did pick the most moronic schoolboy way to sample it (ie: neat, with vodka) but among the right crowd of brave appreciaters, this could be a very useful addition to a large-scale cooking pot, and has far more to offer than simple novelty masochism.

Just take it easy there guys!

DUMPLING MANIA + ECTO COOLERS!

HOLY GUACAMOLE, BATMAN! IT'S A NEW YEAR!

We at DINNERGEDDON have been eating, drinking, eating, sleeping, eating, hibernating, eating, washing up, eating, passing out, eating, sleep-walking, eating, and eating more. Many of us are just emerging from holiday food coma - the details of which we will indeed share with you soon.

And hell, look at that picture above. Amey's homemade guacamole looks good enough to lick right off the 'puter screen. But we'll save that for another Mexi-filled episode. Stay tuned.

Right now though, it's a new year. We gotta get down to business with some DUMPLINGS. That's right, we're making homemade DUMPLINGS. This ain't no child's play. We gotta chop till we drop, and fold till we grow old. We need a solid gang. A Dumpling Crew. Someone who knows dumplings. Someone who can show us the way!

Ladies and gentlemen, Awesome Allison Busch:

Allison doesn't just keep the beat going all day and all night. She knows how to make some damn fine eats. And now, she will school us in the art of stuffing delicious ingredients into tiny pieces of delicious dough.

First, we'll need some ingredients. There are no real rules for what can go in a dumpling. You just need flavors that mix well - stuff you want to eat when it's wrapped in dough! We picked up some carrots, mushrooms, potatoes, scallions, cabbage, pepper... We got soy sauce to season and dip in, and sesame oil to cook the dumplings in. Some plum vinegar. Some all purpose flour.

Our master plan: Make two varieties of dumpilngs. A mushroom/carrot/scallion kind, and a potato kind. We plan to steam some, boil some, and pan fry some.

STEP 1: CHOP, CHOP! MIX, MIX!

Super! Now we have our two varieties of fillers.

WAIT! All this chopping and mixing is hard work. We need some liquid refreshment before continuing with this hardcore labor. Time to invent a drink! What happens when you just happen to have a bottle of Dan Akroyd's own Crystal Head Vodka and a bottle of Toronja Mexican soda from the local bodega? You have a delicious and refreshing slime-colored concoction. It's AMAZING! Allison gave it a badass name. You heard it here first, it's the ECTO-COOLER!

Okay okay. Back to Dumplingland.

One can make the dumpling wrappers from scratch, but we opted to leave it to the experts. The asian market had this business:

You can usually buy these Dumpling wrappers in the refrigerated or frozen section of any asian market. Keep them cold right up until you are ready to use them. You don't wanna mess with their delicate constitution.

STEP 2: FILL UP THEM DUMPLINS!

Fill 'em full, but don't pack them too tight. Dip a finger in some water, and moisten the edges of the dumpling wrapper. This will make the dumpling wrapper stick to itself when you fold it up. It's the glue.


When sealing the dumpling up, try to fold the wrapper over on itself, like a fan. This makes your dumpling look pretty. And it probably serves a logistical purpose as well.


Put some all purpose flour on the table or on a plate. Gently coat your dumpling in some flour. Now the won't stick to each other when you line those puppies up!



STEP 3: COOK DUMPLINGS!

Put 'em in a pan with some water and cover and steam 'em! Or fry 'em with some sesame oil!

Or boil them in some water!

STEP 4: PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES WHILE THEY COOK!

That was fun.

STEP 5: EAT!

A special thanks to our pal Allison!

A harsh lesson for the new year

via boingboing / Making Light

It Would Be Like Running A Hotdog Place Called "The Hotdog"...

Yeah, that's right.

It's a taco place called "El Taco".

You got a problem with that?



Now, it's pretty common knowledge that we don't really have Mexican food in the UK. Not the real stuff anyway, and if we did, we'd have no idea what to actually do with it.



Which is why it was with great trepidation that I walked into the cosy interior of the imaginatively named "El Taco" on Western Road in Brighton, and perused the menu.



Would they be able to deliver the goods? What if they gave me something great and I was too dumb to recognise it's worth? I swallowed my anxiety, mosied (moseyed?) up to the counter, and held faith in the fact that we were both from "Southern Climes"...



The produce looked fresh, and the guy was friendly. As I mentioned, El Taco is small, so it can be tough to get a seat, but the stools face out a large window at the busy intersection, and it's certainly a nice enough view while you eat.

They import authentic hot sauce too, which is definitely a big plus!



I sacked up and ordered the Chorizo Quesadilla, "spicy style".



I like the fact they served it on a paper plate, that was also on a china plate.
It was very unneccesary, but totally awesome in it's wanton-ness.

I was also stoked to see the Mexican flag proudly displayed in the arrangement of my meal.



GREEN GUACAMOLE


WHITE SOUR CREAM


RED HOT SAUCE


The quesadilla was, to put it lightly, CHEESEY AS ALL GET OUT.

Fortunately, I am the kind of guy for whom this is a good thing, and it never came close to overpowering the rich meaty heat of the chorizo safely nesteled within...



Was it authentic? Honestly, I have no idea.

But was it delicious? Most certainly amigo!

I will definitely be going back, and if I'm being fed a tortilla full of lies, then so be it.

If El Taco is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.