Weapons-Grade Hot Sauce

This is my brother.

Knowing that I'm a part of the ever-curious DINNERGEDDON stable of roving hungry food pioneers, he decided to give me the gift of a new edible experience this Christmas.

"Here you go," he said. "You can blog about it, or not. Whatever."



"Thanks bro!"

The only problem is, as a food-blogger, I'm still not even quite sure that Da' Bomb: Beyond Insanity Hot Sauce even qualifies as 'food' per se.

The label quite clearly states: KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN, CONSUME ONE DROP AT A TIME.

I don't know how common it is for companies to urge you to use less of their product, and that in itself should be a sign...



"I'M NOT SURE I'M TOUGH ENOUGH FOR A SAUCE LIKE THIS."



Oh ok then.

But first, some facts about Da' Bomb...

The relative heat of all chili peppers is measured using the "Scoville" scale. In brief, this is expressed as a number representing how many times a flavour extract of the chili must be diluted in sugar-water before the spice is no longer detectable to the human tongue.

A regular "sweet pepper" has a Scoville rating of zero: not spicy at all.
Tabasco sauce rates around 2,500 Scovilles.
DA BOMB can boast 119,700 Scovilles.

Needless to say...



I made sure to anaethetise myself appropriately.



Next, I poured myself an "emergency spice relief" shot of milk...



Portioning out a (disclaimer defying) two drop fingertip serving, I was ready to embrace the taste. What you see below is actual documentary evidence of Da' Bomb being deployed...



The wierdest thing about Da' Bomb is that the heat and the taste are completely seperate, in a clearly discernable way. The spice is obviously crazy hot, and waaaay more than I can ordinarily handle, but the flavour itself is actually great; really earthy and sweet. This comes through after the burn, clear and satisfying; like watching a beautiful sunrise after a night spent picking open your own surgical stitches.



In short, I may not be able to stomach this kind of heat on a regular basis, and I suppose I did pick the most moronic schoolboy way to sample it (ie: neat, with vodka) but among the right crowd of brave appreciaters, this could be a very useful addition to a large-scale cooking pot, and has far more to offer than simple novelty masochism.

Just take it easy there guys!

Everybody Loves Ramen

Nobody is above eating instant noodles.

I don't care who you are. I bet Elton John eats instant noodles while sat behind his hideous white piano, taking a break from writing songs for royal funerals.

If there does turn out to be life on other planets somewhere in the universe, it's a safe bet that they eat instant noodles when they first move away from home to go to parallel-university or wherever it is they go when it's time to learn to cook for themselves.



I think my basic point boils down to: don't snub instant noodles. At some point in your life, they were there for you when you needed them, and they haven't forgotten you.

We at DINNERGEDDON understand this all too well, and so we thought the time had come to do a special post all about Momofuku Ando's marvellous invention that took the world by storm.... THE INSTANT RAMEN NOODLE.



Sadly, Momofuku-San passed away in 2007 at the grand age of 96, so to honour the great man, we conducted a taste-test to find out once and for all which Ramen rules the roost.

Picking up three different brand's version of the classic "Beef" flavour, we examined them one by one.




NUMBER ONE: SAU TAO HO FAN BEEF SOUP (Made by SUN SHUN FUK FOODS)

Yes, it is made by Sun Shun Fuk Foods. Amazing, we know. But there is even more, less obvious joy to be found on this packaging. Really tiny, on the left hand side, the text reads "Non Fried", and then the simple reminder that "Health is important".

That was thoughtful of them.

These noodles turned out to be of the longer, thinner, Vermicelli variety, which already set them apart from the regular batchelor chow experience.



We dropped the exotic block into the water and counted the seconds ticking away as our food magically transformed before our eyes from a dry husk to a steaming hot heap of om-nom.

Behold, Sun Shun Fuk's finest:



Using the power of quantum mechanics, we devised the following score for this beefy-delight.

Aroma = 7/10
Appearance = 5/10
Taste = 6/10

TOTAL SCORE = 18/30

Not a barn-stormer then, I'm sure you'll agree. They smelled wonderful, but let themselves down in the appearance stakes for being more grey than a healthy-meaty brown, and the flavour, while delicious, didn't really taste of anything in particular; just a general savouriness.

Moving relentlessly on in our soy-tinted mission, we arrived at:



NUMBER TWO: SAPPORO ICHIBAN JAPANESE STYLE NOODLES AND BEEF FLAVOURED-SOUP (Made by SANYO FOODS)

Apparently this product is the result of a meeting of minds between the Ichiban Beer people, and Sanyo Stereos. I can see the logic. "We get people drunk, provide them with tunes...they need some badass food to munch down upon in a hurry while they're rocking out!"

And so these Beef Soup Noodles were born.



Aroma = 6/10
Appearance = 5/10
Taste = 6/10

TOTAL SCORE = 17/30

Uh-oh. Things aren't looking too good are they? At this point, we began to worry that we needed to revise our scoring method. We don't want you to get the impression we don't like Ramen. We only want to be strict and stick to our guns in finding the most perfect product to honour the late Momofuku-San.

We had to be steadfast and true, like all hungry scientists. The time had come to act. We had arrived at our final contender...



NUMBER THREE: DEMAE RAMEN JAPANESE NOODLESOUP (Made by NISSIN FOODS)

These noodles have two things going for them that the others don't. Firstly, check out this little dude on the packet!



I want to be friends with him.

Also, included along with the usual seasoning powder is this special sachet of flavour boosting oil.



This makes a big difference, really. Somehow, the addition of this little splash of oil elevates the dish from being "fast-food" to tasting almost "home made".



You can just see the glitter-effect of the oil at the edge of the bowl.

Aroma = 10/10
Appearance = 5/10
Taste = 7/10

TOTAL SCORE = 22/30

NISSIN FTW!!!



The smell of these just does something to you. It gets in your head and converts all the different pieces of your brain into noodle-obsessed beef-machines.

I would gladly serve this up to anybody, no matter who they are or how ritzy they hang.



So there you have it. Nissin beef noodles are the best Ramen we can find.

As a happy coincidence, since conducting this experiment we have found out that Momofuku Ando actually founded the Nissin company, so our winning noodles have the official inventor's seal of approval on them!

Quality speaks for itself. These Ramen are here to stay.