Cooking With Fred Durst

HOT-SMOKED SALMON & PRAWNS WITH PUY LENTIL SALAD

This dinner is delicious and nutrious. It is so easy to make, that even Fred Durst could cook it.



Listen Mr. Durst.
Let's say you, Chester Bennington from Linkin Park, Coby Dick of Papa Roach fame, and revered broadcaster Walter Cronkite are all hanging out swapping tattoo-ideas when you start to get peckish.

YOU CAN FEED YOUR FRIENDS!



Your adventure begins with you gathering together the following items.

Hot-Smoked Salmon Fillet (250g)
Shelled, Cooked Prawns (200g)
Cous Cous (roughly one and a half cups)
Puy Lentils (roughly one cup)
Red Pepper (diced)
1/2 Cucumber (diced)
Green Peas (maybe 150g)
Fresh Parsley (finely chopped)
1 Lemon
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Salt & Pepper

[Serves 4]

1) Boil the lentils for 10-15 minutes. Meanwhile, cover the cous cous with hot water, add salt & pepper to taste, and leave to soak.

While waiting, you might want to perform a rap song for your guests.



2) When the lentils are *almost* done, add the peas for just a few minutes. Drain, run under cold water, and set aside to cool.

During this time, why not seduce a young pop-star?



Or not...

3) The cous cous should now be nice and fluffy. Using a fork, stir through a dash of olive oil, checking seasoning as you go. Add salt if needed. Add the cucumber, peppers, peas and lentils. Stir in freshly chopped parsley and the rind from your lemon.

Now might be a good time to check on your guests, and perhaps amuse them with a high-brow joke.



Ha ha! Good one, Fred!

4) For the dressing, squeeze the lemon juice into a small bowl with roughly the same amount of olive oil. Whisk together with a little black pepper until nice and thick.

It's nearly ready... are you looking sharp?



Snazzy!

5) Portion out the lentil salad into four individual serving bowls. Top with flaked salmon and prawns. Drizzle over the dressing and serve!



Delicious! So good for you, too.
Plus it was a snap to make, meaning that you can get back to doing what you do best.



Just be yourself man!
DON'T EVER CHANGE.

Engagin' Cajun' Jambalaya

Looks pretty good right? Even with the blurry picture...

It tastes good too.

Let's say that you're hanging out at home, maybe you're watching a film on the sofa.

(In this reconstruction of a hypothetical scenario, the part of you will be played by a small wooden Minotaur head.)



When suddenly you get an urgent hunger for something spicy, meaty, fishy, and generally satisfying on a deeply soulful level. They call that feeling "Jambalayawanna", and the only thing you can do to sate it is to make it.

You spring from your seat.



You race to the kitchen and collect together the composite ingredients.



*Note* This dish requires a few things that might not normally be in your store cupboard, so DINNERGEDDON recommends anticipating your Jambalayawanna with as much advance notice as possible.

Here's what you need:

JAMBALAYA
Serves 4

Arborio Rice (I have no idea how much, I just pour it out till it looks right)
4 Chicken Thighs (skin on, bones removed)
8 Raw Prawns (shells on)
Squid Tubes (cut into rings)
Chorizo sausage (diced)
1 Green Pepper
2 Red Onions
2 Spring Onion (sliced)
1 Garlic Clove (sliced)
6 Cherry Tomatoes
1 Chicken Stock Cube
Salt & Pepper
Cayenne Pepper
Chilli Flakes
Fresh Parsley
Fresh Thyme
Fresh Rosemary
2 Bay Leaves
1/2 Carrot (sliced)
1 Lemon
2 Celery Sticks
2 Whole peppercorns
Olive oil

Ok let's get started...

1) We need to make a quality stock to cook the rice in. Apply a sharp blade to one of your red onions. See how the steel glints in the light. Mercilessly cleave the onion into two equal halves.



Put the chopped onion into a medium pan. Peel your raw prawns and add the shells to the onion. Dry fry on a high-heat until the shells become pink. This should only take about a minute.

Add boiling water to the pan, along with one of your celery sticks (chopped), your chicken stock cube, your carrot, garlic, one bay leaf, your peppercorns, and a pinch of chilli flakes. Let it all boil, then reduce to a simmer for at least an hour.

This is maybe a good time to go shopping for cutlery and dining-ware, if you don't have any. It would be terrible to cook this Jambalaya and have to eat it out of the sink just because you don't own a bowl.



Return to your stock. Does it smell awesome?

If it smells awesome, it's basically ready, but the longer you leave it, the better it will be.
Jamabalayawanna can not be dispelled in a hurry.



Pour your stock through a sieve and really press through all the juice. Discard the chunks, and keep your stock warm somewhere. We are now on to phase two!

2) Prepare a heavy-bottomed pan. Do not feel compelled to climb inside it, even though that is what you are doing in this example.



Add all of your rice to the pan and lightly toast it until the colour just begins to turn.



Now add your stock, and some salt and pepper to taste. If you don't have enough stock to comfortably cover the rice, top it up with hot water.

We must now construct a Bouquet Garni.

I know, kind of a drag, but worth the effort. You get to use scissors at least!

With a piece of string, tie a sprig of rosemary, a sprig of thyme, and one bay leaf around a whole celery stick. It might look something like this:



This contraption is your Bouquet Garni, and you can just toss it in the pan like a flavour grenade. It can just sit on top of the rice while it cooks and will smell up the place real nice. Remember to fish it out later though!



Gently pierce the skin of each of your cherry tomatoes, and add them to the mix. As they cook in the rice, the juice will leak out and add to the general moisture and flavouring, but the flesh of the tomatoes themselves will gracefully fade away into the background, like the memory of a long abandoned ambition.

You should now be safe to just let your rice cook away for a bit while you move inexorably onwards to phase three of the plan...

3) Brush the skin side of your de-boned chicken thighs with a little olive oil and salt.



Then, fry the absolute bejeezus out of them, skin-side down. When the skin has achieved ultimate crunchification, and is totally brown and delicious looking, flip them over and let the meat side cook through on a lower heat.



When they are cooked, remove them from the pan, and let them rest. Meanwhile, in same pan, toss in your other red onion (finely chopped) and all of your chorizo. The gloop from your chicken will merge with the red-sausage-juice and form a really great frying sauce for the onions.



Wow, that picture is really terrible.

When the onions are kind of translucent and smelling really incredible, it's now time to add your chopped green pepper and the raw prawns.



Let them do their thing until the prawns have turned pink and you start to get that "I'm ready to eat you now" feeling.

When this occurs, you are ready to throw in everything from your frying pan. Stir it all around real good.

Then slice up your (hopefully still) crispy chicken, and add that too, along with the juice from half a lemon, and as much cayenne pepper as you dare. Then add your raw squid, and let it sit on top of everything until it is *just* cooked.



Lastly, remove the Bouqet Garni and add your chopped parsley, spring onion, and the juice from the other half of your lemon, along with any salt and pepper you feel it may need.



Ask yourself this question: "Om nom?"

If the answer is: "Om nom NOM" then it is ready to dish up.

Serve in an enormous great big bowl.



Phew!

May your Jambalayawanna be kept at bay until next time!